The Legend of Quacksby
by EstelitaLinda
Summary: 16 year old Susy 'Quacksby' Quackenbush is a survivor at the prison. But things are about to change. Divided between taking care of her sister and friends and fighting for the love of a man 30 years older, will she survive the zombie apocalypse? (ps. the man's Daryl)
1. Quacksby

THE LEGEND OF QUACKSBY

Before the invasion to the prison, back in Woodbury...

The Governor was in his house in Woodbury, listening to classic music and drinking. Suddenly, someone knocked on the door.

''Philip, it's me!'' said Milton ''I... I have something to tell you.''

The Governor stood up, put his drink on the table and walked to the door.

''It's Mr. Governor to you.'' Philip said, upsetly. Milton stared at him and hesitated for a second. Then, Milton quickly leaned forward and kissed the Governor. At first, the Governor stared at him angrily, but then he gave in. He opened his mouth so Milton could kiss him. The Gov pulled Milton closer to him and Milton wrapped his arms around the Gov's neck and they made out.

Then, the Governor pulled Milton into his bedroom and pushed Milton to his bed. He grabbed the rim of Milton's pants and started unbuttoning them as Milton moaned and tried to unbutton the Gov's shirt.

**Months later...**

My name is Susy Quackenbush, but my friends call me ''Quacksy'', or ''The Great Quacksy'' because I have a big imagination. I am 16 and I have very curly bleach blond hair, very pale skin and dark blue eyes. I'm wearing a green chess shirt, a while wool jacket, a salmon-red cap, a cheap, fake golden Rolex, big thick black glasses, pink leggings with black leopard spots and gray old-women shoes. I was also wearing a brown and white cross crucifix that had a fork nailed to it instead of Jesus. Since the begining of the zombie apocalypse, I haven't changed clothes.

My whole family was eaten by albino crocodiles and now it's only me and my sister, Britney ''Quackney'' Quackenbush, her boyfriend, Troy Harder and his best friend, Christian Ron-Aldo. We live at the prison now.

Today I went downstairs to have breakfast. Suddenly, Daryl walked up to me. He was eating a bowl with milk, coffee and Chocapics Michonne had stolen from the Governor. He wasn't using a spoon because he had no manners, but I didn't care.

''Good morning Britney.'' he said with his mouth full. Suddenly he sneezed. He looked at me, embarrassed, and cleaned the snot to his sleeve.

''Hello Daryl.'' I giggled ''And please call me Quacksby'' I said as I stretched my arm to reach the Chocapic box. At the same time, Daryl stretched his arm to reach the box as well, and our hands touched. I blushed so much I swear I got redder than Santa. Instantly, I turned my head to look at Daryl. He was staring at me with his beautiful green eyes.

Suddenly, we heard a scream and saw Beth rolling down the stairs.

I FUCKING HATE THAT FUCKING BITCH!

AN. Was it good?


	2. Omlet

**Before the zombie apocalypse...**

Quacksy was at the door of her boyfriend's bedroom. You could hear the police sirens outside.

''NO! Please!'' she yelled, but it was too late. Merciless, Britney threw Quacksby's boyfriend out of the window.

''AHHHHHH!'' he yelled as he fell.

**Present**

Beth was crying, sitting on the stairs. She was crying to much I swear there was snot sliding down her ugly face. Everybody was around her, asking her if she was okay, and Carol was treating her sprained ankle.

''How did you manage to fall like that?'' asked Carol

_Because she is an attention-whore, that's why _I felt like answering, feeling all the jealousness, I mean, anger boiling up inside of me.

I was so mad! I decided to go to the library.

Usualy, there'd be no one at the library. I read because I am really smart. No, I'm a fucking genius, but I tell everyone I have low self-esteem so they can feel sorry for me. Anyways, right now I am reading _Omlet_ by_ William Shakespeare_.It's boring but I only read it when there are people around so they think I'm smart. What I'm doing right now is searching the teen magazines for posters of shirtless guys to decorate my cell with. Finaly, I found a poster of shirtless Adam Levine from Maroon 5. Maroon 5 used to be a good band, but now they are too mainstream. I folded it carefuly and kept on searching.

A hour later, I left the library and went to my cell to hide the poster somewhere. I tried to be as quiet as possible so I could avoid Patrick. He is such an hipster prep! I bet he'd invite me again to Carol's reading classes for kids or whatever. Everything was going well but, when I was about to enter my cell, he came out of Beth's (AAAARGH!) one.

''Oh, hello!'' he waved at me

''Hi'' I replied, entering my cell and hidding the poster under the pillow. I turned around and there he was, standing at my cell's door.

''So, uh, you wanna come to Carol's reading time?''

How could I say no? I could hear Carol chatting with Beth in her cell.

''Sure.'' I faked a shy smile on my pale face ''Just let me rest a little.''

''Sure'' he replied and stood at the door like an idiot as I laid on my bed. I looked at him and smiled, and he walked away.

Carol has a strange relationship with Daryl. I swear Beth gives Daryl more attention that Carol does. My sister said that Carol and Daryl have a _planctonic_ relationship, whatever that means.

I wonder what Carol teaches the kids besides from reading and killing. I hope she teaches 'em some sex ED. I mean, you don't want them to end up like Lori, right? But seriously, doing it with 2 guys, without condoms, in the middle of the zombie apocalypse? Man, you gotta be really dumb.

The time for Carol's boring class came and walked to the stairs. Then, I saw my beloved Daryl! But he didn't talk to me. Instead, he walked inside Beth's cell!

AAAAGHH! RAEG


	3. Red

**In Woodbury, before the first prison invasion...**

''Oh Philip!'' moaned Milton.

They were on the Gov's bedroom, having a great time.

''Shh, quiet.'' said the Gov, stopping ''Someone's knocking on the door.''

Quickly, the Governor got out of the bed and put on his rob. He opened the door, and it was Andrea.

''How... did I interrupt something?'' she asked, embarrassed and angry

The Gov tried to talk, but Andrea was faster and rushed into the Gov's bedroom. She opened the door and stepped back, confused. Milton quickly covered his part with the sheets and let out a scream.

The Governor appeared behind Andrea and tried to think of something to say.

''It's okay Andrea, I'm big enough for both of you.'' he said.

''Get on the bed.'' she demanded. So did the Gov. Then, Andrea took her shirt off and jumped on them.

**Present**

There was, in front of me, Daryl in his whole manliness. He was dressed as a fire-fighter and was holding a black whip on his hand. He stared at me sexily and I could feel my brain melt. I was sitting on a red chair, on a red room. Then, he walked towards me. He sat on my lap and started kissing my neck...

But suddenly, zombie Beth came out of nowhere and bit him!

I FUCKING HATE THAT FUCKING BITCH FUCK YOU!

Then I woke up. It turns out there was no Beth, but there were walkers everywhere! There were people shooting and screams. I crawled to the corned of my cell, scared, when a walker saw me and entered the cell! Quickly, I grabbed a pencil and stuck it into the eye of dat mothafucka, but it kept trying to bite me. I started kicking it on the stomach and it opened, spilling it's insides on my feet. My beautiful old-woman shoes...

As a miracle, the walker stopped moving and fell to the floor, with an arrow on it's head. Then I saw Daryl fighting the walkers.

''Lock yourself in the cell!'' he yelled

Quickly, I locked myself in the cell. I couldn't believe. My steamin' hot redneck came to save me from that ugly, smelly, badly dressed ... BRITNEY?!

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

MY SISTER!

I knelt next to her body. I couldn't believe! I cried and cried...

She was a badly dressed, mainstream, feminist wannabe idiot... but she was my sister!

I lost the track of time and as soon as I noticed, the whole fight was over. All the walkers were dead. They were now getting rid of the bodies. Troy Harder, my sister's boyfriend, appeared at the door. I looked up at him and he realised what happened. He ran off crying.

Great...

I was hoping he'd drag the body out for me.


	4. Pookie

**Before the outbreak...**

5 women and Britney arrived they local Church. Quickly, they took off their shirts and did a handstood while they stuck their tongues out at the Church and yelled ''Empowerment''. Then, Britney took one of her hands off the ground to make a fist-up as she yelled, but lost her balance and fell to the floor. Tourists photographed them.

**Present**

Today it was the funeral of the people who died yesterday. The family and friends had to say some words to their loved ones, and I had to say something about my sister. I should've thought of something to say, but I was too busy fantasizing about my pookie (Daryl) to care. Ahh, he's so cute...

Anyways, I still had some time before my turn to say something, so when I arrived to the funeral place I went straight towards my sweet Daryl. I was crying and my eyes were all red and my makeup was blurry. Then Daryl would take me in his manly muscular arms and ease my pain...

But suddenly, Beth appeared in front of me.

''I'm so sorry about your sister.'' she said to me and before I could do anything, she hugged me.

I FELT LIKE STRANGLING HER

I swear she did it on purpose.

After some time, she let me go, but held my hand ''Come on. Let's say goodbye to your sister. Britney, wasn't it?''

''She prefered to be called Quackney.'' I replied

She dragged me in front of everybody when some guy finished his speech and I had to talk because everybody was looking at me.

''My sister was a really nice person...'' I lied ''She was my rock after... after everything happened!'' I bursted into tears and Beth hugged me ''Goodbye Quackney...'' I finally said

Carl tried to hold back his laughter but failed. Rick scolded Carl but everybody was looking at him.

That snot-nosed, mainstream poser! How dares he!

Some time later, the funeral was over. We all went to our cells.

I didn't feel like having dinner so I stood in my cell. Later, I went to the bathroom and there I found Troy. He was sitting on the floor, staring blankly at the wall with tears rolling down his face. He cleaned his tears to his sleeve when he saw me.

''Hey.'' he said with a sad smile.

''Hi'' I replied and he stood up. He stared at me for a while then he bursted into tears.

''What's wrong?'' I asked as I approached him.

''Shh it's okay'' I pulled him closer to me. Suddenly, he kissed me! I gave into the kiss grabbed his.. ya know. He put his hands under my shirt and moved them across my back. Then he took my shirt off and I took his pants off. Then we did it.

''Oh Daryl'' I shouted, but he didn't seem to notice.

Ohmigod

We forgot the condoms.

Fuck you Troy! This is all your fault!


	5. Sexiest man ever

**About a week before the 1****st**** chapter...**

We arrived at a prison. Someone opened the doors and Glenn stopped the truck in front of the main building. My sister and Glenn exited the truck. I was about to jump out of the truck as well, but something went terribly wrong. I tripped and fell loudly on the floor, head first, on a Ridiculousness-worth way.

''Owww!'' I shouted, feeling the pain on my back. Then I bursted in tears ''I think I broke something!'' I shouted as my tears transformed the dirt on my face into mud

''Quacksby!'' shouted my sister, but she could barely walk because she had a broken leg. Glenn was helping her to walk.

''Here, let me help you.'' said the sexy man as he approached me. (Oh my I'm so glad my sister broke her leg!) He picked me up like a princess. I kept crying and crying as he brought me inside so Dr. Dre could treat me.

Inside, the man put me in a bed where Doctor Dre was waiting for me. By his side, there was a blonde girl.

''Oh hi Daryl!'' she said with a smile.

''Hi Beth.'' he replied

Dr. Dre looked at me for a while ''I don't think anything is broken. But you should rest. You back will hurt for some more days.''

I looked at Daryl ''Can you take me to my cell, please?'' I asked.

Beth gazed at me with her cold and evil limpid green eyes like cold tears of icebergs.

Daryl picked me and brought me to my cell. He put me in my bed carefuly.

''Thank you.'' I said shyly. Then we looked into each other's eyes for a while. Suddenly, Beth appeared.

''Oh hi Daryl!'' she said, putting a hand on her hip and playing with her hair with the other hand ''I just came by to see if she is okay.'' she said cynicaly ''It's okay Daryl, you can leave.''

He gave me one last look and went away.

Beth looked evily at me and kept playing with her hair ''If you need anything, I'm just a couple of cells away.'' she said meanly like a snake ''Goodbye.'' she said squinting. Then she walked slowly out of the cell. Veeery slowly. And she was always looking at me. Which caused her to bump on the cell door.

Then she gave me one last gaze and left, embarrassed.


	6. Isolation

Oh no! Nononononono!

I think I might be preggers!

Like, I just puked blood! My son must be a vampire or some shit

But it was just 2 days ago that I did it with Troy.

I walked out of my cell. I was not only throwing up, but coughing a lot too. Apparently, a couple more people were coughing as well.

I went outside but there I found that idiot Beth. I was about to come back in, but then she noticed me.

''Oh good morning Quacksby!'' she said with a cynical smile ''Look, you can't tell anyone, but, like, the council thinks that there might be an epidemy. The people who are infected are all going to be isolated. But I will stay inside with Rick's daughter!'' then she pretended that she was crying

''Hey Beth, wanna know something?'' I said, teasing her

''What?'' she asked and gave me a suspicious look

''I saw Daryl's thingy!'' I said

''How big is it?!'' she asked angrily

''It's 50 centimeters long!'' I said, mocking her.

She paused for a second and gave me a confused look. Then I started laughing.

''TELL ME HOW MANY INCHES THAT IS YOU FUCKING EUROPEAN!'' she yelled angrily

Then Daryl appeared.

''Fuck off bitch, he's mine.'' she said to me and walked towards Daryl

''Oh Daryl...'' she said and then she started crying ''I can't believe this is happening... It's so scary!'' she said

''Hey Beth, c'mon don't cry...'' he said, but then I pretended to faint. He left her and came running towards me. He helped me to stand up.

''Quacksby! Quacksby, can you hear me?'' he asked

''Oh Daryl... is that you?'' I said, looking into his forest green emerald eyes. Beth came running after us.

''Be careful Daryl! I think she might be INFECTED!'' she shouted so everybody could hear. Then, I snooze right in the bitch's face. Ah! Take that!

''Yo Imma take ya inside'' said Daryl and then he picked me up and Beth cleaned the blood out of her shirt. Beth stared at me angrily as I and my angel pie redneck prince walked away. I just gave her my middle finger behind Daryl's back.

**Later...**

Me and some more infected people were in the death row as Doctor Dre and Hershel tried to treat us.

Then...

Ohmigod!

Troy was in the death row too! He was coughing a lot and Chris and Doctor Dre were by his side. I ran towards them.

''Oh Troy!'' I shouted, but Troy just kept coughing and coughing...

After a while, he stopped moving.

''OH NO! Doctor Dre, do something!'' I shouted, but the doc just gave me a sad look.

''I'm sorry Quacksy. There is nothing else I can do...'' he said

''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'' I shouted! I couldn't believe! I burst into tears and grabbed Dre's shoulder's ''NO! There must be something you can do!'' I shouted

I was so angry and sad!

Chris had to grab me and drag me and hugged me.

''I'm sorry Quacksy...'' he said and then I pushed him away.

''How can you be sorry?! You know nothing!'' and then I stormed off to my cell.

I was angry like a volcano.

Then I saw Chris going into the cell where Troy's body was. He was holding a knife. Quickly, I stood up and took the knife out of his hand.

''No. I will do it.'' I said with determination. Chris nodded at me and let me go into the cell.

I knelt by Troy's body and stroked his hair as tears of blood (because of the infection) rolled down my face. Then, when I was about to stick the knife in his head, he came back to life.

''No! I can't do it!'' I cried and Troy tried to grab me. I stepped back and trembled as he got out of the bed.

Chris took the knife out of my hands and tried to stab Troy himself, but failed and got bit because he is a fucking n00b.

Then, someone shot both of them with a shotgun. It was Hershel.


	7. Escape

I was so sad I stood in my cell the whole day. Later in the night, when nearly everybody was sleeping, Hershel woke me up.

''Quacksby, come with me.'' he said, and then I went.

''Where are we going?'' I asked, but he didn't reply

He led me outside, to where Karen and the other guy were killed. Then, suddenly, he pushed me against a wall!

''Shh, shut up.'' he said and then he started groping me! I quickly turned around and slapped him.

''OMG Hershel dafuq?!'' I yelled. Then he started chasing after me and I had to run away.

I hid in a tower and Hershel lost sight of me.

I hoped my pookie came back quickly. He had left the prison with some more people to search for medicine...

**2 days later...**

I'm almost dead inside the tower. I haven't left the place since. I thought about Daryl to kill the boredom. Not long ago, I heard gunshots outside. I didn't drink nor eat since I hid here... I'm so weak... I can barely open my eyes... On the other hand, I'm so skinny I look like a top-model! Daryl's gonna love me... Anyways,

….

I think I see the light...

Ohmigod

Flying Spaghetti Monster, is that you?

This is the end for me. Goodbye world...

…

..

Suddenly, I heard the sound of a bike outside. I'd recognize it anywhere. Daryl, my muffin, came to save me... I dragged myself to the balcony and shouted. He gave Michonne the medicine and ran towards the tower.

I fell to floor and waited... then my prince came. He picked me up and called my name as he shook me. Then I fainted.

**Later...**

I was at my cell. They had medicated me and the illness was going away. Doctor Dre told me I had been sleeping for a couple of days. Suddenly, we heard an explosion! I ignored the doc and ran outside. Then, I saw a hot guy on a tank. And then I saw he had kidnapped Hershel!

Rick was talking to the man, but the man didn't care and cut Hershel's head off. Then bullets flew through the air.

''Beth, get everybody on the bus!'' yelled Maggie and so Beth went. I followed her and got in the bus as well.

**Beth's POV**

I was inside the bus, waiting for my sister because she went inside to find Glenn. So I took the oportunity!

''Sorry guys, but I have to find my sister!'' I yelled and then I ran out of the bus. But, instead of looking for my sister, I ran towards Daryl!

We started to chat and later the bus was gone.

''Oh no! We missed the bus!'' I yelled. Then Daryl looked at the woods.

''Well, guess it's just you and me now.'' he said

Yes yes yes! I'm so lucky!

I got rid of that bitch Quacksby and now it was only me and Daryl! I'm so smart.

Anyways, we ran towards the wood super fast until we lost the walkers. Then we laid down in the woods because we were exhausted.

I turned my head to Daryl and ogled him...

Ahh...

I could do this all day...

But suddenly, we heard someone moving behind us. Daryl quickly stood up and pointed his arrows at whoever was there. Then I looked.

I couldn't believe!


	8. Make love, not scrambled eggs

**Back in the 90's...**

David was in his private island, in his house. It was a calm morning and David went outside to catch some fresh air, when suddenly, he saw a stranger in a black hoodie.

He recognized the stranger and looked at him with a surprised expression as the stranger climbed the steps to his front door. Suddenly, the stranger grabbed David's face and pulled him for a kiss.

Without stopping to kiss the stranger, David pulled the hoodie down and ran his fingers across the stranger's hair.

The stranger grabbed David's hand and pulled him indoors.

''Come.'' said Daryl, and David went

**Present**

Yes, that's right! I'm back Beth!

Right now me, my love and Beth the prep are walking through a road, trying to find somewhere to stay the night.

I'd explain how I got out of the bus and found Daryl and Beth, but nobody cares.

So, we were walking when suddenly a hippie van appeared! It was going really fast and had some song blaring.

''Hide!'' shouted sweet cheecks and everybody hid in the grass, but it was too late. The hippie walkers in the car stopped it and started chasing after us. It was nearly 30 walkers. We ran and ran for hours until we found an abandoned car and my love had an idea.

''I have an idea!'' he shouted ''Get in the trunk!'' and so we did.

Daryl got between me and Beth. Daryl pointed his arrows to the trunk port when we heard the walkers outside.

I was so close to Daryl I could hear his heartbeat... And I could smell him too, but that doesn't matter. When we get married, I'll make him have some personal higiene. I already planned every single detail of our wedding, but I'll talk about it later.

Anyways, it was so romantic... except for Beth, I hate her

Anyways, my pookie stood up all night to protect our sorry asses from the walkers. Luckily, we escaped.

Later, we camped in the middle of the forest. Daryl was eating toasted snake and I was watching him eating. Oh and Beth was crying in a corner. Suddenly, she started searching her pockets but couldn't seem to find what she was looking for. Maybe she was looking for that diary of hers? It would be a shame if it dissapeared... or was robbed.

Hehe I'll read it later for you.

Anyways, suddenly she stood up.

''I want alcohol!'' she demanded

''Beth, we are in the middle of a forest. There is no alcohol.'' I replied wisely

''NO!'' she cried ''And if you don't help me find it, I'll do it myself!'' and then she went away

Then Daryl stood up and went after her!

''DARYL! WAIT!'' I shouted as I ran after him


	9. Forecast

We followed Beth until we found a golf club. At the door there was a hanged walked and a written part of a cardboard box. The cardboard box read:

-Gary's weather forecasting walker-

Walker is wet: Rain

Walker is dry: Not raining

Shadow on ground: Sunny

White on top: Snowing

Can't see walker: Foggy

Swinging walker: Windy

Walker jumping up and down: Earthquake

Walker gone: Tornado

Anyways, Beth was at the door looking anxiously at Daryl because she is too useless to do anything herself. My love went and opened the door. There were a couple of walkers in there but my lvl 100 Daryl could handle them.

Finaly, we found some crappy drink for Beth. She sat down and tried to open the bottle, but she was too n00b to. While she battled against the bottle, I approached Daryl.

''Hi''

''Hi'' he replied, then I realized he had walker blood on his face

''Here'' I said, picking up a nearby tissue and cleaning the blood. Then we looked into each other's eyes. We were so close I could feel his breath on my neck. We approached and were really close. I nearly touched Daryl with my neon pink chewing gum-tasting lips (just because it is the end of the world that doesn't mean I can't wear makeup!). Then Beth started to cry.

I was soooo mad. I turned around like the girl from the Exorcist and shouted at her ''WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT NOW BETH?!''

But all she could do was cry and cry... then Daryl approached her, grabbed the drink and smashed it on the ground.

''You know what? I know where we can get flammable moonshine. Let's all get drunk.'' he said and we said yeah!

**Later...**

Daryl brought me and Beth to an house in the woods.

Beth made us play some preppy game so we were all sitting on a table and drinking.

Then Beth started bothering Daryl about his past and so he got really pissed (in both senses of the word). He stood up and started pissing against the wall while yelling.

''No Daryl! You're making too much noise! There's a walker outside!'' yelled Beth as the walker tried to get it.

Then Daryl grabbed his crossbow and went outside. We followed him.

He fired his crossbow and nailed the walker to a tree.

Then he grabbed Beth and gropped her boob ''Come on Beth! You said you wanted to learn how to hunt! Or track or whatever.'' he shouted and Beth started to cry. Then Daryl let go and started crying too.


	10. Dinossaurs

Daryl burst into tears. Beth approached him to hug him from the back, but I pushed her away and did it myself. She fell to the ground and looked at me angrily. I gave her my middle finger.

Later on, things had calmed down. We decided that the house was shit and brought back memories of drunk Daryl so we burnt it down. We were watching it burn when Beth flipped the bird at the house. I rolled my eyes and sighed loudly. She is so childish! She grabbed Daryl's hand and he did the same. I did the same, anyways...

We walked all night. Beth annoyed Daryl because she wanted him to teach her how to hunt so now we were tracking a walker, which was something completely useless, because walkers aren't edible. I think. After a while, we tracked the walker. It was eating some dead animal on a clearer. Beth n00bly pointed Daryl's crossbow at the walker and walked towards it, but tripped and sprained her ankle. Then the walker saw her and walked towards her and my sweetie had to save her sorry ass.

I approached them. Daryl knelt besides Beth.

''Are ya okay?'' he asked

''NO! I think I sprangle my ankle!'' she cried, then she looked at Daryl with puppy eyes ''Can you piggyback me?'' she asked. I couldn't believe! I gave her my angriest look. Daryl sighed and rolled his eyes, then picked her up.

Later, we found a funerary house. We got in and searched the house. In the basement, we found some dead people. Daryl passed his fingers on one of the dead person's face and it got on his fingers. Apparently, someone caught those walkers, killed them, put them TONS of makeup so they wouldn't look creepy and dressed them.

''Who did this was a nice person... They knew these things were once people...'' said Beth, then she started crying in silence. I rolled my eyes.

Then we found the kitchen. There was lots of canned food there. Daryl opened a bottle and put his fingers (I think it was the same fingers he passed across the dead person's face) and tasted a bit of whatever was inside the bottle. ''The pork is mine!'' he said when he noticed canned pork or something like that.

Daryl is getting fat. When we get married, I'll make him turn vegetarian. Or I will make him not eat at all! Eating is so mainstream.

…

It was night. We had eaten and now we were in a room upstairs. Beth was playing by the piano and singuing. I was about to lay down in an empty coffin when, unexpectedly, Daryl walked towards me. He grabbed my hand and gave me the sweetest smile I had ever seen. I could feel my brain melting because of all his hotness...

I sat in the coffin and so did Daryl. We laid down really close to each other because, luckily, the coffin wasn't very big. I rested my head on Daryl's manly chest. I could feel his warm breath... Then he lifted my head gently and made me look into his beautiful pretty eyes. He pulled me closer... Ohmigod, I think this is it! We are gonna kiss! He will love my new neon green lipstick that tastes like dinossaurs. Finaly, it was our momen-

Then Beth must've seen us and gotten really angry, because she changed from her calm love song to ''Rumors of War'' by HIGH ON FIRE.

''Beth will ya shut up? We need to sleep'' I said wisely. Then she looked at me angrily and stood up.

''You know what Quacksby? You are a B-I-T-C-H!'' she yelled, then I stood up.

''Fuck you, you mainstream poser prep!'' I yelled. Then she started crying.

''All I wanted was Daryl.'' she cried ''I feel so alone and he is sooo hot!''

''I know right?!'' I cried too ''All I want too is Daryl.''

Beth blew her nose to her sleeve and looked at me.

''You know what? Maybe you can keep Daryl. He loves you.'' she said ''I realised he doesn't love me. I noticed the way he looks at you. He doesn't love me.'' she cleaned the tears from her face ''You can have Daryl. You were made for each other. Now excuse me while I go slit my wrists.'' she said. Then Daryl stood up. He put his hands on our shoulders.

''Look, the thing is, I love both of you.'' he said ''And I want both of you.'' then he slid his hands down our backs.

''Oh Daryl...'' we sighed as we followed him into the coffin. Then we started kissing him.


	11. Final Boss Fight

Me and Beth had just removed Daryl's clothes. Me and Beth slid our hands (my nails were painted like a rainbow) down Daryl's muscular body until we reached his boxers. We were about to take them off when the cans Daryl had left by the front door started making noises. We stopped.

Daryl stood up and headed for the door.

''I swear if it is that dog again-'' he was saying when suddenly and lot of walkers tried to get in.

''Quacksby! Beth! Run!'' he yelled

We put our shirts on quickly and ran outside while Daryl fought the walkers. We got out by the back door and headed for a nearby car. Then Beth stopped. I realised she was holding a cleaver on her hand.

''What the fuck?!'' I asked

''This is where you die, Quacksby.'' she said ''And so Daryl will be all mine.''

''You bitch!'' I yelled, then I figured it all out ''I bet it was you who brought the walkers here!''

She gave me an evil smile ''Yes. I just needed a diversion so I could kill you! And by the way, I didn't sprang my ankle!'' then she put a combat position ''THIS IS OUR FINAL BOSS FIGHT, QUACKSBY!''

''Baka...'' I whispered as I stared at her angrily.

Beth ran towards me, jumped in the air and tried to stab me but I dodged and punched her on the stomach. It sent her flying against a tree, but she got her balance back and landed on the tree trunk on her feet and poopelled herself forward. She performed a kick in the air and hit me on the face.

I slipped backwards some meters away from Beth and fell on my knees. My nose was bleeding and Beth was running towards me. She jumped in the air with her cleaver held up high. Then she moved it down to try to slice me like a watermelon but on my last second I got my strenght back and dodged the attack.

The cleaver got stuck on the ground and I performed a rotational kick and hit her on the head. Her head turned away and her blood fell on the ground. I tried to punch her in the face when, suddenly, she grabbed my arm, started spinning and tossed me in the air. I got my balance back and did a somersault and landed on the roof of the funerary house. Then I jumped in the air and so did Beth and we punched each other in the face in mid-air. Then we fell to the ground on our knees, panting and bleeding.

''You are going to die, Quacksby!'' shouted Beth, raising her closed fist

''Fuck you Beth!'' I shouted, giving her my middle finger

Then we ran towards each other. I tried to punch her in the face several times to weaken her. She finaly dodged and kicked me in the face several times. Then I rose my arm and stopped her kick. Then I pulled my free arm backwards to gather as much strenght as I could, then I attacked.

''Quacksby punch!'' I yelled as I punched her in the face with all of my strenght. But she didn't move. Instead she was smiling.

''I was just warming up.'' she said and then grabbed my arm and twisted it.

''AHH!'' I shouted as she broke my arm and tore it our of my body. I fell to the ground screaming as she picked up the cleaver. She pointed it towards my head and rose it in the air.

Then I thought about Daryl and time froze. I could see him fighting the walkers inside, in his manly underwear. I wonder if he still had that huge boner?

''I might die tonight.'' I thought ''But you are going with me!''

The cleaver was coming down. In the last second, I pulled a gun out of my ass, I mean, boots, and exploded her brain as she cut my body in half.

Finaly, our bodies fell on the ground side by side, lifeless.


	12. The End

**Some months later...**

I was in a beach watching a beautiful sunset. Rick was behind me, with his head resting on my shoulder and his arms wrapped around my waist.

''I need to tell you something.'' I said, turning around

Rick looked at me with his crystal blue eyes and gave me a curious look. I put my hand on my abdomen and caressed it.

''I'm not really fat, Rick.'' I said nervously ''I'm pregnant. You are going to be a father.''

Rick gave me a shocked look and then he kissed me passionately.

''I'm so happy!'' he said, taking my face in his soft, warm hands. I put my hands on his and smiled.

''Carl and Judith are going to be so happy.''

Then we looked into each other's eyes and smiled. Rick was so beautiful... I made him shave so he didn't look like a hobo anymore. Rick put his hands on my waist and pulled me close to him.

''I love you Daryl.'' he said

''I love you too Rick.'' I replied

Then we kissed passionately. I had finaly found the true love of my life.

~~~~~The End~~~~

A.N: Hope you liked it! Review plz 3


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